Upcycled Human

2026

January 11, 2026

Uncategorized

2025 wasn’t an easy year. It came with more than its share of detours, setbacks, and lessons I didn’t ask for. I’ve spent some time thinking about what I don’t want to carry forward, and the answer isn’t failure so much as repetition. I’m not interested in reliving the same hard parts out of habit.

So for 2026, I’m choosing something simpler and harder at the same time: small wins, stacked patiently.

My goals this year aren’t flashy. I want to finish the CHOP protocol. I want to get close, really close, to finishing my PhD. And I want my business to be supporting me financially by the end of the year. That’s a tall order for anyone, and it’s especially ambitious when you live with POTS, mental health issues, and a collection of learning disabilities that turn consistency into a daily negotiation rather than a daily routine.

What I’ve learned is that consistency isn’t about perfection; it’s about return. Returning to the work. Returning to the body. Returning to the intention, even after a stumble. My word for this year is Consistency, which happens to be the same title as my last blog many months ago. That feels less like a coincidence and more like evidence. Some lessons take time to root.

This past week wasn’t perfect. I exercised four out of five days. I worked on my business and my dissertation every day. That counts. Not because it looks good on paper, but because it reflects follow-through. Progress doesn’t announce itself loudly. Sometimes it just shows up again the next day.

This year, I’m also focusing on strength training. I have EDS, which means this requires care, patience, and a slow build. I’m not offering this as advice; bodies vary, and knowing your own limits matters. What I am noting is the larger lesson: slow and steady isn’t a consolation prize. It’s a strategy.

I don’t know exactly how this year will unfold. I do know how I plan to meet it: with steadiness, attention, and a willingness to keep going even when the pace feels unimpressive. That’s the journey I’m on. And if you’re walking your own version of it, quietly, imperfectly, persistently, you’re welcome to walk alongside me.

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Consistency

June 28, 2025

health, Motivation, POTS

The week went well. I found my flow. A steady bedtime, wake-up, and routine made all the difference. I work out at the same time every morning and have started writing outside. Listening to the birds while I sip coffee is a relaxing start to my day. I feed the wildlife, so bunnies, squirrels, and all kinds of birds gather around; even a mama raccoon stops by while her babies sleep in their nest. It’s easy to journal my life away, but I remind myself there’s work to be done.
Today is a good POTS day, so I’m tackling yard work. I’m not thrilled about chatting with the neighbor who always wants the latest news, but I’m pushing through my agoraphobia. I let the lawn go too long once and had to hire someone; this time, I’ll mow it myself. Challenge accepted!
Earlier in the week, I felt dizzy, so I added extra salt to my morning protein drink with MUD\WTR. Still, I made it to my desk. Every day, I took a 15-minute power nap, my legs propped above my heart, with the alarm set, and every day brought a new stamina test. By Friday, I worked until 5:30 PM instead of my usual 4:30 PM.
Dissertation progress remained consistent, with approximately one page completed per day over the past two weeks. My advisor called it the most productive stretch she’s seen from me in a long time, and I agree. Consistency is key. I still need clearer daily objectives for my business activities, so that will be my focus for next week.
I also increased my calories. Eating better has boosted my energy, and my weight has trended downward. It’s too early for big conclusions, but it’s hopeful.
POTS can still throw a wrench in things, so I keep a contingency plan: printed and downloaded resources ready if I need bed rest. No zero days!
A busy weekend awaits, with yard work or housework if it rains. Extra dissertation hours happen on Sundays. Do I want to? No. Am I going to? Yes. I’m on the consistency train, and I’m not looking back.

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New Beginnings

June 14, 2025

Uncategorized

It’s been a relatively uneventful week, but I’m feeling the quiet energy of something big on the horizon. With the New Moon approaching, I’m preparing for the start of my new fitness challenge (more to come), and I’m also looking forward to our upcoming camping trip. Both feel like part of a larger reset, like clearing the slate.

This past week brought some real highs and lows. I worked hard, stayed consistent, and even

managed to get in three solid workouts, despite a few days where eye issues sidelined me. That was frustrating, especially because my health has been improving so much lately. Still, I adapted and kept showing up, and that’s what matters most.

Emotionally, it’s been a tough season. Losing both my therapist and my writing coach in the same week has left me feeling a little unmoored. These were people who really anchored me. But I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately and how, even when it feels like an ending, it’s often the start of something entirely new.

I can feel a new chapter unfolding in my life. I don’t just want to keep going, I want to grow. I believe the right new therapist and writing coach will bring fresh insight and energy into my journey. My new fitness challenge feels like part of that new perspective, too. It’s a commitment to myself, a fresh start built on strength, structure, and intention.

Years ago, a school advisor told me, “Every time you introduce yourself to someone, you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself.” That’s stuck with me. Reinvention doesn’t mean being someone you’re not; it means showing up authentically, with the wisdom you’ve gained, and making conscious choices about who you want to be.

So I’m not treating this season as an ending. I see it for what it really is: the beginning of an exciting adventure.

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Starting Over

June 7, 2025

Motivation, Uncategorized

I named this Starting Over because that’s exactly what it is. Today is Day 1, Week 1 of the CHOP workout program for POTS, again. I’ve spent more time than I’d like beating myself up about it, but I’m beginning to understand that this isn’t failure. This is learning. Life happened. A few flare-ups, losing my sister, depression, COVID, and pneumonia. I stopped posting, but I never stopped thinking I should be “perfect.” That pressure knocked me flat. I was on Month 3 of CHOP. Now, I’m back at the start.

Brick by Brick

I used to let what others said about my “failures” define me. I saw criticism as something that could break me. But now? I see every hard moment, every harsh word, every moment of self-doubt, as a brick. And brick by brick, I’m building something stronger.

Power isn’t something that gets handed to you. It’s something you claim. The moment I forget that, I lose it. But when I remember who I am, it comes back. Fully. Fiercely. So when the next brick comes, I won’t flinch. I’ll ask myself:

Will this be rubble or a cornerstone?Because I get to decide what I build. And how I built it.

The full moon is coming up, called the Strawberry Moon, and it’s expected to be a big one. I’ve been doing some cleaning and resetting, and I’ll share more on that soon. I’m also testing a new women-focused exercise program I’ve been developing. It’s designed to align with how our bodies actually work, taking natural rhythms into account, instead of forcing us into a one-size-fits-all model. It officially launches on the New Moon, and I’m excited to share more soon.

Brick by brick, I’m building my legacy. Share with me how you are building your legacy!

Have a good week, everyone.

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And so it begins…

September 3, 2024

Motivation

So, I started CHOP. It’s amazing. I did not realize it would challenge me like this, but I love it. I have been slowly working on clearing out my house, which has been cathartic. I work on it a little each day and am starting to see progress. No Blog last week. I was recovering from a heart cath. It actually turned out really well, but the recovery was frustrating. There was so little I could do, and things really got behind. I am finally starting to catch up on my blog, housework, and all the other responsibilities I have been juggling. I created a symptom tracker for my POTS and a calendar spreadsheet with a place for to-do lists and project breakdowns because we have to take things one piece at a time. That way I know what possible triggers are for a flare up. I am just starting to make use of this. I hope to share it eventually. I hope others are able to benefit from it. I am having a good day. Sometimes, you really need to cherish the good days to fuel you up to make it through the bad days. I will spend some time outside. I need to connect with nature. I am going to read The Artists’ Way. I will be facilitating a book club for 12 weeks, and I so look forward to going through the program again and awakening that inner artist that has hidden due to illness, responsibilities, and whatever excuse I give to not allow myself the time to be creative. I met with one of my advisors today since I am really ramping up my dissertation. I feel like, after a long, dark winter of unknowns, I am finally able to see the light a little. It will take work, and I know there will be bad days, but a day like today gives me hope that there will be more days like this in the future!

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Giving Up

August 19, 2024

Motivation

If you are like me, giving up is something on my mind more often than I like. Depression has been a constant and I regret to say that I have allowed life to get in the way of my progress with CHOP. There were many reasons and my health just would not cooperate but I realized that with my heart cath coming up on Friday, I would just need to start all over again because I can’t exercise for a week after. I am worried about the heart cath, wondering what it will show. Part of me feels my symptoms are only because of POTS but another part of me hopes that there is something that can be done about some of my health issues. I had an episode in Walmart. I was there for my first fun outing in months (most outings have been medical). Standing and looking at school supplies (I love this time of year) I started having chest pains, so I took a nitro. But I did not sit down…until I had to…in the middle of the floor with a crowd gathering around. Before I went down I assured my wife I was fine and made her go through check out and get my school supplies. Crazy as I am, I soon went down and as she checked out unaware of my predicament, I sat in the floor and tried not to pass out. I refused 911 and opted for a motorized cart instead. I made it safely home and slept for hours. That was Friday. I’m okay now. I am grateful to be here. I am grateful for the physical ability I do have rather than the physical ability I no longer possess. I can walk, see, have use of my arms. Maybe if I focus on my good fortune I can let go of the waves of depression that like to hit me more often than I would like. I am blessed!

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CHOP

August 5, 2024

Fitness

I look out at the crows I feed daily. I have a murder that comes to eat and drink and bathe in the little pond I created. Sometimes I leave them shiny objects and they always take off with them. They like cat food. Crows are smart, independent, and they are survivors. That’s what I hope to emulate. It’s hard, the last few days have been painful and exhausting with dizzy spells to boot. I was told Tai Chi is not great for POTS, not standing at least. But I found something that I am holding out hope for. It’s called CHOP and it is something that this tired and hurting body needs. It is designed for people with POTS and the woman who told me about it has POTS and EDS like me. If you are interested go look at the Exercising with POTS Facebook group. It may have changed my life. CHOP progressive and slowly helps you get back to a more normal existence. It is an 8 month program and takes painstaking consistency with good nutrition, water, and sleep. I know it may be tough and no one completes it in 8 months because if you miss 2 days you have to repeat the week. Miss 2 weeks, repeat the month. It is brutal but doable. I will need patience…ugh, that is the most difficult thing I have had to learn with this. Anyone can do this program, it just takes dedication. SO…I will be starting a business, doing my dissertation and starting CHOP. Sounds right up my ally. I am excited about this. I feel like someone gave me a roadmap to overcoming my symptoms.

There are athletes with POTS. I am inspired by Ledecky the swimmer who won so many golds. If you have POTS too, I invite you to start this journey with me. Tomorrow I get serious and begin a new chapter. The one where I finally know what my enemy is. POTS and EDS and I am a warrior not a worrier. The book I am reading right now is Chi Walking because I think that will make a big difference in how I hold my self and how I bring my mind to focus almost a walking meditation. I plan on doing Chi Running and even bought his half marathon and marathon book because he says you can run fairly injury free. But I am getting ahead of myself. Lesson one, patience and that is a challenge! I will beat this. SO, my day will start with breath and meditation before my workout and then, a cold shower because this winter I will be cold water swimming. I have goals! I have POTS it doesn’t have me!

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16 Weeks

July 29, 2024

Uncategorized

16 weeks. That’s the goal I’m setting. 16 weeks to getting back to a baseline where I feel like I can exercise and function at a normal level, and aiming for the big R…Remission. It is where I will start training with a running group, doing an exercise program closer to what I used to do. But this time is different this time I am building a solid base. I had a terrible migraine Friday despite waking up ready to tackle my to-do list. I instead spent the day in a dark room. I came out of it depressed and feeling defeated. How am I going to start a business if I can’t work?? Yesterday I started researching POTS and joined some POTS groups. I need to understand it if I’m going to overcome it.

Last night I did not sleep but a few hours but I got up anyway and despite being slow to start I will finish strong with business school. I will not miss today despite being exhausted. You see, it is part of the process. Being exhausted and hurting as I am today is just normal no matter how much I sleep. I read that getting up at the same time every day no matter what will help me get my sleep schedule down and at least that part of it will be okay. Exhausted but sleeping better. Today I plan on going on a walk on the treadmill and using the pedals underneath my desk to keep the blood flowing and work me back to health. I read that keeping the blood flowing is important to help with the exhaustion and will help develop exercise tolerance.

Last week when I finally did a spreadsheet of all I wanted to accomplish and broke it down into long-term, mid-term, and short-term I was able to get a review of what my to-do list was really going to look like. I felt better, more in control. I got some time with my daughter Saturday and went to garage sales which is one of my favorite things to do with her. I got dizzy and definitely can’t do as many as I did last year at this time. I need to stop comparing myself to the time before I got sick. All that matters is if I can tell myself at the end of the day I tried my best. If 40% is 100% of what I can give that day it is still my best. Friday, my best was taking care of myself as I dealt with a massive headache. Yesterday I took off other than doing some light cleaning. Hopefully This blog will be more interesting soon. I’m doing my best and that’s what matters. It’s Monday, I am just getting my week started and it’s going to be a good one. How do I know that? Because I will make it so.

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New Challenge

July 24, 2024

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Last night I had a crisis of self-esteem. I talked to my wife about my doubts about running a business, getting back my health, ever getting back to a decent place in my head. Even spiritually I felt dry yesterday. Over the last few weeks I have suffered extreme depression and each day is a new challenge to conquer. I had exhaustion too. I tricked myself Monday. I told myself if I accomplished something I could lay down, when I accomplished that I set another goal. I did that until most of my list was completed. I started having chest pains eventually and had to stop but then worked from my bed. I think it’s low iron. We will see what the blood tests say.

So my newest challenge is to accept where I am completely, wholly without trying to fool myself. I’ve done some soul searching and realize that I am starting at zero. My speed is not starting with weighted exercises, no matter how light. I need to start with Tai Chi. Anyone who knows me will tell you that Tai Chi is certainly something that would drive me crazy. But if it gets me where I need to go I’m signing up. I am even holding off on swimming until I talk to my cardiologist because of damn chest pains but I will figure this out, conquer that roadblock and move forward. I sat down and set long term and short term goals for my physical and mental health. I’m determined to reach them. One day I will run a marathon! For today I have a walk on the treadmill scheduled and I will sign up for Tai Chi classes. I hate that is where I am physically but I’m making the call to set up the classes because I am not my illness!

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